Dear heterosexual Nigerian girl,
Who taught you that self esteem belongs in your vagina?
That having sex is selling your pride,
That virginity is a bargaining chip,
That girls who are not virgins have no pride?
Who taught you to lie that you were raped,
when the boyfriend asks,
That a man will stay only if you withhold sex,
That your closed vagina will land you a marriage?
Who taught you that a marriage is a business deal?
A life goal? A trophy?
Who told you that only firm breasts will keep a man,
That marriage is a means of wealth redistribution,
That your dreams should not be too big, so they don’t scare men away,
That you shouldn’t buy a car till your husband buys one for you,
That women with cars scare husbands away,
That a woman should not be too loud,
Should not speak too intelligently,
or argue too fiercely,
Who taught you that you can’t say no because he paid your bride price?
That you should stay because of your children,
That him beating you is discipline,
That wearing a mini skirt means it’s your fault,
That a baby born outside a marriage is an abomination,
That cooking is in your DNA,
that you were created to serve a man,
That if you leave a relationship after 5 years, it is over,
Who taught you that you cannot start again?
That everything you do should be measured against your biological clock,
That a woman was made to have children,
Who taught you that you are never home, unless it is a man’s?
– Chika Jones