Finding Belief/Faith in 2017 – Project A

This is going to be a rambling post. I am looking for something and i’m yet to find it.

Sometime in July 2016, i stopped preaching (knocking on doors to talk to people about God, his purposes for mankind and how best to serve him). Preaching and attending meetings were a key part of my religious life before then.

By the time 2016 ended, i was sure i did not want to do it anymore. I was not sure i believed in God, Christianity and by extension religion.

I was in what many would call my confused christian phase. There was a lot of scolding and encouragement from many who felt i just needed a push, but their prescriptions, feelings and judgement will not be discussed here.

I was tired of being among people whom i felt showed only conditional love. People who believed that the only expression of love they owed others was preaching. As at this time i began to feel that evangelism was really an attack, basically telling someone that if they did not worship God the way you did, then they would be killed by God.

As 2017 opened, i felt my belief in the idea of God ebbing too, and so i decided that if i had grown up with this, then i owed it to myself to start again, and if there was a faith or belief out there i would find it, if there was none, i would know i have tried.

I find it strange when people defend their belief in the bible by quoting the bible, yet i grew up believing this book and so i am attempting an impossible task – reading the bible with an open mind.

Each day i read the bible i will drop my thoughts here under the numbered project logs, i will also drop thoughts from other books and discussions i will have about this topic.

Feel free to make your suggestions on any other reading material. Thanks.

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